That Drifting Poo Was Way Too Meaningful! These Are the Television Letdowns of the Year.

Looking back, we reflect on the television landscape of the past year, a selection of shows stand out not for their brilliance, but for their notable shortcomings. Ranging from awkward sequels to confusingly poor documentaries, here are the productions that left us scratching our heads or just reaching for the remote.

The 'Sex and the City' Sequel

Where to begin with this love/hate follow-up? Burdened with dreadful scripts, cringe-inducing character development (we demand better for Miranda!), and a paltry 71 seconds of fan-favourite Samantha, the series fought to find its footing. Briefly, as the third series began, it looked like it had finally found its groove. Then arrived an installment all about Seema’s natural deodorant. No wonder the showrunner declared this would be the last series. It ended on a low point; the closeup of Miranda’s toilet full of poo was simply too symbolic. Still, fans undeniably had a hoot dissecting every single “what on earth?” moment. And as Carrie – a single woman once more – danced around her sprawling townhouse to Barry White, who couldn't let out a small sob?

All’s Fair

‘Is Kim Kardashian an actress? The answer is a resounding no.’

But that was practically the smallest of this show's problems. The recipient of a very rare no-star assessment, it was hard to know where to start listing the flaws. The hilariously wooden writing? The mind-numbing glorification of affluence and consumption? The almost wilful procession of cliches? Performances so bad they felt almost spiteful? Let’s just say “all of the above” and forget about this show again. Except, a new season has been ordered, so we’re likely going to have to.

The Charlie Sheen Documentary

Considering the legal troubles, abuse allegations and parental shortcomings, it’s reasonable to say Charlie Sheen has been a bad boy. Not you’d truly have known it from this multi-part documentary which smirked its way at Sheen’s various episodes of self-destructive excess while struggling to tell us anything we weren't already aware of. Rather, it felt as if this loose cannon was being pandered to, so any pity this show might induce should be reserved for the people who have had to suffer proximity with this charming but dismissive narcissist.

The Supercomputer Drama

Naturally we understood it was preposterous from the get-go: a thriller about a AI known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either solve global crises – or destroy all of humanity. We persevered out of pure love for its stars … but by the end, it felt like even they had stopped bothering. One scarcely reacted when his character died, and the other ultimately hacking Charlie with an axe … in super slow-motion. That's what you call giving up the ghost.

The Gangster Drama

Shady characters convening in deserted boxing gyms? A certain band's Firestarter blaring in club scenes? The late 90s called and wants its gangland drama back.

In truth, that is unfair on the gangland dramas of the late 90s. Many seem a little dated now, but at least they didn’t endure the ignominy of having to indulge unconvincing dialects. But there were many other issues. Primarily that it was just profoundly dull; a conflict over narcotics territory between various cockney picaresques which felt rather simplistic.

The Meghan Markle Series

Given the extent to which she provokes the ire of certain performatively angry commentators, it’s temptingly tempting to admire the Duchess of Sussex’s various ventures into twee lifestyle as intentional statements. But then you watch them and are compelled to admit that actually, they may have a point. It’s like watching a homeware magazine animated; a poster for evening drinks with delusions of grandeur; a parade of snoozing dogs, humming beehives, sentimental sayings and pointless crafting “hacks” you’ll forget instantly. All supported by vast, mostly unearned wealth. Ugh.

The Beckham Documentary

There are obviously fascinating things to be said about regarding Victoria Beckham and her journey with career, self-image, self-worth. But for whatever reason, this three-part series chose not to explore them. Rather, the viewing was akin to reading a marketing brochure. She obviously has good reason to resent what she describes as her “stern” image. But unfortunately, she failed to do herself any helps with this cagey non-event of a series.

The Inheritance

It should have been the next big hit – except even camper, with a famous star as a deceased benefactor and a well-known personality overseeing her estate. What more could you want? As players competed, there was plenty of backstabbing and arguing. But the rules quickly became incomprehensible: it’s still too confusing to explain what exactly was happening. Even more disappointingly, we only saw glimpses of the star via filmed videos. The series ended up smelling of a programme that was straining desperately to emulate something way beyond it.

The Lena Dunham Romcom

How does one succeed a show that captured a generation? The expectation was enormous for this glitzy romcom about Jessica, a rosy-eyed New Yorker who lands in London with a shattered romance. The star seized the opportunity by the horns and was joyous to watch, reveling in Austen levels of romantic ideals. But it was all very glossy and, paradoxically, was not enough. Plus, the sheer amount of famous cameos involved felt icky.

The Sketch Show Return

Not good enough to be ‘patchy’.

Given the smart recruitment of gifted younger comics, expectations were high. But sadly, most of it fell flat. A recurring sketch was a one-note joke milked to a husk but recurring in every episode. One star seemed too ready to slip into a familiar ranting mode. The writing room sketches, in contrast, simply provoked the thought that they should probably have stayed in there a bit longer.

The Knox Dramatisation

This retelling of the story of Amanda Knox was executive produced by Amanda Knox and pretty much exclusively showcased the viewpoint of Amanda Knox. So, while there undoubtedly is an interesting drama to be made about the tragic 2007 murder, this was not it. The material needed to be treated with care. Rather, the series struggled painfully to find the right voice, lurching from oddly breezy, somewhat stylised farce to ultimately, real-life horror. Twisted? Arguably. A total mess? Very much so.

Prime Target

We love the star … but did we believe him playing the most brilliant maths genius since, a man so smart he’s on the verge of a breakthrough that could ruin society? Nope! This globe-trotting thriller about government agencies targeting – and eliminating – intellectuals frankly got more absurd by the second. Formulaic nonsense.

1000 Men and Me: The Bonnie Blue Story

This hagiography followed the content creator renowned for sexual escapades as she prepared for her biggest challenge yet. What on earth would possess her? What we craved was far greater examination of her actual psyche, plus those of the men in the line. They could at least have interviewed the now-famous mum who appeared to drag her son away from the queue. What we got was horrific imagery and zero interrogation of her notoriety whatsoever. It's staggering to consider, the documentary-maker has a young daughter too.